


nice cock, bro!

by bindaetteokbon



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bang Chan is Bad at Feelings, It Works., M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Guilt, THATS A TAG??, anyway., chan is just some guy., changbin isn't there for the anal., chanlix Fuck, dom bottom felix, felix is a camboy, felix wears a skirt, he's just a dude., i was gonna say confessional sex but i'm p sure that's a christian thing, puppy kink, seo changbin is here for moral support, sub top chan, those are enough tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:22:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bindaetteokbon/pseuds/bindaetteokbon
Summary: Prior to a few weeks ago, Chan was normal. He watched porn that he didn’t have to pay for and jacked off to the thought of people who didn’t sit adjacent to him in his Psych101 class. He was good with money, he made plans every Friday night, and again, he didn’t jack off while thinking about his classmate. It used to be so simple.Then he met Felix.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 10
Kudos: 192





	nice cock, bro!

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first time writing *clears throat* penetration so i hope it's up to par. have fun reading friends!

Chan is horny. He’s so, so unbearably horny, and in spite of his long-set morals begging him not to, he opens Chaturbate. He already knows exactly what he wants, and sighs in relief when he sees bbokki333 hasn’t started his scheduled stream yet. Chan can’t stand being late.

Prior to a few weeks ago, Chan was normal. He watched porn that he didn’t have to pay for and jacked off to the thought of people who didn’t sit adjacent to him in his Psych101 class. He was good with money, he made plans every Friday night, and, again, he didn’t jack off while thinking about his classmate. It used to be so simple, really.

Then he started college. And as Chan walked into his first ever lecture, equal parts nervous and excited, he saw him. Sitting alone in the row just in front and below him, there sat the prettiest boy Chan had ever laid eyes on. He tucked strands of silver hair behind his ear and fidgeted with the sleeves of his sweater and although Chan had no clue who this guy was, he could feel his heart pounding with each tiny movement he made. Swallowing his nerves, Chan tapped the boy on the shoulder.

“Hey.”

He whipped his head around, looking at Chan with wide eyes, quirked eyebrows, and lips slightly parted. Chan smiled at him. “I’m Chan,” he said, pushing his hand towards him for a handshake. The boy looked down at it, and after a few moments of staring, smiled, taking Chan’s hand gently and shaking it. 

“Felix.”

“Felix?” Chan repeated, trying not to visibly display his shock. For someone so small and cute, his voice really betrayed him, and in the best way possible. Felix nodded. “Pretty,” Chan said, and Felix couldn’t help but blush, a grin creeping onto his face immediately. Chan meant it, too. Everything about him was so, so pretty.

It still is. The moment the stream starts Chan is taking to the comments, reminding Felix-or ‘Yongbok’, as he calls himself online-of how pretty he is. He giggles reading them, whispering shy thank yous in the husky voice Chan’s become so obsessed with. Already, he’s hard, uncomfortably so. Chan’s cock is restricted in his jeans but it’s too early to undress. He curses himself for being so easy and shifts to a sitting position that hurts a little less, unable to take his eyes off the screen.

The first few minutes are always slow. Felix takes him time teasing the audience, running his fingers aimlessly up and down his pale thighs, grazing his skin so lightly it feels like nothing more intense than a spring breeze. When he first started streaming, Felix’s pace was awful. If he wasn’t so pretty then what few viewers he had surely wouldn’t have kept returning. But they did, showering him in tips, and with each tip came a request. 

Of course, he had a few rules. No names, no hard kinks that he hadn’t explicitly stated were alright before, and nothing incriminating. But aside from that? Well, it didn’t take long for him to pick up steam.

It didn’t take long for someone to request he start wearing skirts, either.

“A skirt?” he’d asked as the request popped onto his screen. He laughed a little, disbelieving, but Felix wasn’t opposed to the idea at all. In fact, he liked it. A lot. Even before he started work as a camboy, Felix had liked the idea of wearing a skirt, but it stayed as just that: an idea. He was far too afraid of judgement to actually buy a skirt, let alone wear one. An influx of comments came soon after, all of which in agreement, practically begging him to put one on.

Felix smiled. He was blushing, from his cheeks onwards, and for the first time in a while he felt shy. He leaned forward, arms crossed in front of his dick, and looked for the audience reaction.

“You’d look so pretty,” he read under his breath, whispering a thank you afterwards. He could say no. Of course, he wasn’t obliged to do anything, and if he really didn’t want to, he could simply deny the request and continue on like he'd never read it.

But Felix wanted to. So he leaned back, letting his arms fall by his side, hitching one leg up to show off his cock, and smiled. “Sure,” he said, giggling. He never knew he could feel so giddy over such a simple request. 

“I’ll wear a skirt.”

Chan begins palming himself through his jeans as Felix scoots further from the camera to give a better view of his outfit. He’s wearing a pink tennis skirt, the same one he wore to his Psych lecture earlier today, and white thigh highs rolled down to just above the knee. He’s also wearing a hoodie. It looks familiar, but Chan can’t figure out why. Then, Felix giggles, bunching the excess material and pushing his hands down between his thighs, and Chan realizes something.

That’s his hoodie.

Last week they walked around campus together, holding hands and watching the Autumn leaves fall, and Felix shivered with the cold. “You’re freezing.”

“Mhm, I’m fine.”

In a moment Chan had let go of Felix’s hand and pulled his hoodie off, and was thrusting it gently towards him, gesturing for him to put it on. Felix’s eyes went wide. “But-”

“No buts,” Chan interrupted, and Felix furrowed his eyebrows. “I insist! I don’t want you to get cold. Please?”

Reluctantly, Felix took the hoodie and put it on, and Chan beamed at him. It was too big on him, and even though he tried not to show it, Felix couldn’t have been happier. “Thank you,” he mumbled, pulling the sleeves down over his hands and hiding his now blushing face in them. Chan wrapped an arm loosely around Felix’s waist and they continued onwards.

Chan doesn’t know how to feel. He’s flattered, in a way, that Felix not only kept his hoodie, but is now about to fuck himself while wearing it. Chan’s breathing hitches. He’s seen Felix take care of himself a few times, but tonight feels different. More personal? Even though he’s an adult, he’s not doing anything wrong, and Felix _wants_ to be seen like this, Chan still feels dirty.

Were this anybody else, that strange feeling of guilt sitting in his stomach would be gone. It probably wouldn’t have been there in the first place. But this isn’t anybody else. 

Chan is watching the cute boy he has a crush on touch himself underneath his skirt and even though that cute boy knows people are watching he doesn’t know that  _ he’s  _ watching and he doesn’t know that he can’t look away and Chan feels fucking filthy for it. He unzips his jeans and finally lets his painfully hard cock spring free.

It’s late, and his dorm is dark, the only light in the room coming from the blinding screen of Chan’s laptop. His roommate, luckily, had plans. He had invited Chan to come with him and “get some fresh air for once”, but Chan just laughed at the suggestion.

“Can’t. Sorry Binnie,” he told him, and Changbin groaned. “I have a bunch of assignments to work on.”

“So do I,” he said, and Chan shook his head. “You’re a fucking Psych major! How much work do you really get?”

“More than you’d think! Seriously, though, thanks. I’ll join you next time, I promise.”

“You better,” Changbin said, angrily crossing his arms “Fuckin’ hermit.” Chan sighed. “Haha, very funny. Are you gonna stay here and criticise me for being a good student for the rest of the night or are you actually gonna go out tonight?”

“I know when I’m not wanted,” he whispered dramatically, turning towards the door, and Chan threw a pillow at him. “Exactly. Bye Bin!”

“Have fun being alone. See you tomorrow.”

Chan wouldn’t say this is fun. Chan wouldn’t say this is anything, actually, because if another human on this planet were ever to find out about this, he’d die. He would undoubtedly collapse and die. Felix giggles while reading comments, and Chan finally convinces himself to look away, even if it’s only for a moment. He loves that giggle so much. But everytime he hears it, he feels like a pervert. Everything about Felix makes him feel like a pervert.

Even if Felix doesn’t specifically know it’s Chan who he’s mentally tormenting, he knows he’s not innocent, and he loves it. Even if he pretends he isn’t, Felix knows that he’s in complete control. He could do whatever he wants, and no one could say a word about it. Chan can’t stand it. He hears Felix whine and whatever false morality Chan had been feeling prior is now pushed back, second to his desperation.

Chan needs this. More than anything, Chan needs to see Felix cum.

“Why do you love edging so much?” he asks, shaking his head at the camera and he accepts a request, smiling as he lifts the hem of his skirt up to show his cock. Chan remembers almost having an asthma attack the first time he saw it, and even though he’s more used to it now, his heart still races at the sight. It’s pretty. Smaller than what most guys are into, but Chan thinks it’s perfect. “I guess tonight’s stream’ll be a long one. You all don’t mind, do you?”

An influx of comments tell Felix he’s right, and he giggles, repositioning himself to sit on his knees. He pushes himself forward with one hand, the other struggling to hold both the hoodie and skirt up from his cock. “Like what you see?” he asks, tilting his head and the camera and letting his cute, smiling face enter the frame. Chan bites his lip. 

If he wanted to, Chan could make noise. It’s not like anyone would hear him. Changbin’s out getting shitfaced, and even if someone were to walk past his door at this very moment, he’s in college. Masturbating is normal.

But letting himself make noise would mean letting himself give in. Chan knows he’s far gone already, but preventing a moan is the only thing he can do to make himself feel less like he’s giving in.

Still, Chan can’t look away. Felix doesn’t jack himself off traditionally; instead, he holds his hand still against his stomach and just above his cock, moving his hips forward like he’s fucking the air. He moves so painfully slow, and Chan marvels at how he’s able to show so much self control. Felix wants more. It’s obvious in the way he’s whining, in the idle ‘fuck’s and ‘please’s he whispers to nothing in particular, in the pained expression on his face and the way his cute pink cock twitches as he grazes his fingers along the side, never fully committing to a single technique.

Felix sits back down, his legs splayed out behind and to the side of him, now pumping his dick and biting down on the sleeve of his hoodie. He breathes hard and fast for a few moments and just as Chan is ready to watch him explode he stops, balling his hands into fists and slamming them down on his bed.

“Fuck!” Felix exclaims, bouncing on the spot, to try and redirect his energy elsewhere. “This is so mean,” he whines, pressing his thighs together hard, leaking cock twitching against his stomach. “I hate you all,” he huffs, grabbing the hoodie and pulling it down to cover it.

Chan groans.

He tries so, so hard not to, but he can’t hold back anymore, and Chan whimpers, rutting into his hand like a dumb virgin. He can’t cum yet, though. He refuses to let himself finish until Felix is well and truly done. Chan shakes his head and takes a deep breath, trying hard to distract himself from his ever-present erection. He leans towards his laptop, fingers somewhat shaky against the keyboard, and manages in his misery to comment a single “pretty boy.” Felix reads it and pouts.

“So mean,” he repeats, his breathing now a little calmer as he seems further from finishing. “So, so mean. I can’t believe you enjoy this.”

As much as he teases, Felix really does enjoy this. He’s always been a whore for compliments, especially when sexually charged, and as difficult as edging himself is, he likes the feeling of being in control. “Someday I’ll get a partner for this,” he says quietly, and Chan almost chokes. “Would you like that? Watching me get fucked by something other than my own fingers?”

Chan thinks about it, and as Felix adjusts his skirt so that it sits on his hips, he decides that his answer is a strong maybe. Yes, but with conditions. He’d hate to watch Felix being fucked by anyone that wasn’t him, but that fantasy he’s been mulling over in his mind since their first lecture is strong in his head, and the idea of holding Felix down and ramming him until he’s crying is so picturesque and perfect in Chan’s mind that the mere thought of it makes him feel weak.

“Mhm, I see,” Felix says, his voice low. “You’d be jealous. Cute.”

Chan knows Felix isn't talking directly to him. Of course he isn’t. But God, it feels like he is, and Chan hates it. He hates how someone so fairy-like can be so goddamn cruel, how he can have so much power over him even when he isn’t trying to. 

“I don’t know who’d even join me. There is one guy, but… No, he’s too sweet, I don’t even think he’d fuck me.” Felix laughs a little, then sighs dreamily. “I shouldn’t talk about people I know, ugh, sorry.”

Chan feels like he’s about to fall over. His heart is in his throat and his throat is closing, and as his gaze switches rapidly from Felix to the comments, he sees endless variations of the same question that make him want to risk it all and walk to Felix’s dorm right now.

_Chris, right?_

With one hand wrapped around his cock and two fingers in his mouth Felix nods, accepting a request to finger himself as his does. “I don’t see how I’m so obvious,” he mumbles, slowly removing his fingers from his mouth and looking down at the trail of saliva coming from between his lips. “I don’t talk about him that much, do I?”

Chan likes to think it’s a coincidence, but really, he isn’t sure. It wouldn’t make sense for Felix to be talking about anyone but him, but Chan pins it on wishful thinking and prepares to be disappointed. Then, he gets an idea.

The idea costs money, but Chan really doesn’t mind. Felix deserves anything he can give him and more. “Tell us about him while you fuck yourself,” he requests, and as soon as Felix reads it he gets choked up. He’s so cute it’s unfair.

“Well-I-fuck, I-” he stammers, and stops to gasp as he pushes two fingers into his ass. He looks more flustered over the thought of talking about _Chris_ than he is over his own exhibitionism. Then, he smiles, caressing his cock as he moves his hips up and down on himself. “He’s sweet,” Felix says, giggling a little. His cheeks are bright red from embarrassment and Chan’s never wanted to take care of someone more. “I-What do you wanna know?”

There a couple different questions; what does he look like, how’d you meet, is he gay, etc etc. Chan’s too busy quivering to comment anything. “Well, he’s in my Psych class,” Felix starts, his voice low and sweet like honey, and Chan could swear he’s imagining things. “He talked to me first.”

Felix pauses to lean over his bed, brandishing his ass to the camera for a brief moment before pulling back and delicately placing a well-lubed dildo onto his bed. He hovers above it for a while, playing with his cock, and thinks of what to say. “He’s so fucking hot.” 

And with that Felix is easing himself down onto a dick three sizes bigger than his own and Chan is biting his lip so hard he draws blood.

“He’s blonde, fuck, same height as me but-” he cuts himself off with a whine, now digging his nails into his thighs as he pushes himself down. Poor boy looks like he could cry, and Chan wants nothing more than to kiss his head and assure him he’s doing well. “Strong. He-ugh-he could probably carry me. Fuck, I want him to.”

Chan takes mental note of that and leans in towards the screen.

Felix is only about an inch from the base at this point, and he’s whining so much it almost sounds fake. His voice, normally deep, gets so high when he moans that it makes Chan blush. Chan isn’t sure if he’s playing it up for the camera or not, but either way, he likes it. 

“‘Nd I think so, yeah. He has that vibe,” Felix laughs, a little breathless and he sits on the dildo. He touches himself gently for a while but doesn’t actually move yet. He needs to get used to the feeling of having something inside of him first.

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” Chan asks himself, commenting a few question marks.

“Oh, y’know,” he starts, shifting his position so that the process of riding won’t be too painful. Felix whimpers like an injured puppy as his hips finally start moving. “His vibe. I-I don’t know how to explain it,” he says, struggling to get the words out once he picks up the pace. He seems pretty far gone after that-his eyes closed and his mouth falling open as he bounces up and down, frequent curses and unintelligible groans slipping past his lips. He throws his head back and reaches down to toy with his cock again, and without thinking about it, Chan does the same.

He wants to cum at the same time as Felix.

It would feel poetic, almost: perhaps they’d be eternally bonded in spirit were they to jizz simultaneously? Chan huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. No, he’s just horny. So, so fucking horny, and he can’t take it anymore.

Felix’s whines become louder, more frequent, and even higher. The sound is so pleasantly pornographic that Chan would be satisfied never finishing to another voice in his life. “Fuck,” he whispers, and Chan opens his eyes to look back at the screen. Felix is definitely about to cum, which is good for Chan, because if he has to wait another moment he might combust.

“Please let me cum,” he asks, continuing at the same speed. Another request pops on screen, telling him to keep going until he can’t anymore, and Felix hastily accepts. He can’t think about anything anymore. 

His head is fuzzy with thoughts of Chan’s cock inside of him and Felix manages to convince himself that he’s not fucking plastic, but instead the cute boy who stares at him taking notes and fidgets everytime he walks around campus in a skirt, the one with broad shoulders and the perfect build for a hug, the one whos watching from his own dorm and currently exploding into his hands with such force he feels like he’ll pass out. Chan grunts as he cums, and before he’s fully had time to process the weight of his actions, Felix is forgetting his own rules.

“Ah, Chan,” he moans, and immediately slams himself down upon realizing his mistake. He covers his mouth with both hands and fails to silence one more whine as he finally cums. His legs tremble and his hands twitch, falling down from his mouth and into fists on the bed. He clutches the bedsheets and bites his lip, throwing his head back. 

Everything is sticky. His skirt, his socks, the dildo, his hands, and of course, Chan’s hoodie. The hoodie that Chan gave Felix is now covered in cum.

Chan feels like a fucking animal. The stream isn’t over yet, but he can’t watch anymore, he can’t. He shuts his laptop so quickly he wouldn’t be surprised if it broke the screen. But Chan doesn’t care about that right now. His cock is still leaking, twitching, and somewhat sore from the amount of time he spent hard, but again, he doesn’t care.

Chan cares only about the fact that he just watched Felix cum. He watched Felix cum like a fucking voyeur and he listened to him moan and say his name and touch himself and Chan can’t think about it anymore.

Chan takes a cold shower that lasts a minimum of two hours then goes to bed and sleeps for a total of forty minutes. He tells himself he’ll never go on chaturbate again, but he knows that’s a lie, and knows that next time he cums, it’ll be the sound of Felix’s voice.

And Chan is fine with that.

The next day he looks like a zombie and Changbin is reasonably concerned. “Wild night, huh?” he asks, a little confused. Normally, Chan would laugh, and gesture towards his textbooks and the array of notes on his desk, but not this time. Chan just groans, hiding his face in his hands.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” he says, too exhausted to rebuttal or even look up at him. Changbin claps his hand down on Chan’s shoulder and attempts to shake him. “Come on, we’re going outside.”

“Outside?” Chan asks, and when he meets Changbin’s eyes it becomes even more obvious that he hasn’t slept. “Yes, outside. I’ll buy you coffee.”

_I must look really bad_ , Chan thinks, sitting in shock over Changbin’s offer. “On one condition.”

That makes more sense. “-You tell me what’s wrong.” Chan laughs at this, and Changbin just glares at him, clearly not finding any humour in the situation. “Nothing’s wrong,” he sighs. “Good one, Chan, now say it again like you actually believe it.”

“I really shouldn’t tell you,” he mumbles, and Changbin moves in a little closer to Chan, his expression stern. “Hey,” he starts, his voice soft and serious at the same time. “It’s okay if you’re in love with m-”

“Black,” Chan says quickly, and Changbin moves back, a smile on his face. “I like my coffee black.”

The trees are barren and in spite of his many layers of clothes, Chan feels like he may as well be naked, watching the condensation leave his lips with each deep exhale. He clutches his coffee with such force he dents the cup and as soon as they’ve found a bench in the sunlight Changbin is staring at him. Chan looks down at the leaves, his mind racing. “Take your time,” Changbin says, spreading his legs and taking a sip of his Americano, arms sprawled out behind him on the wooden bench’s frame.

“I’m a terrible person, Bin.”

“Strong start,” he says with a laugh, looking out over the campus. It’s pretty quiet today. Of course, there are a handful of people out walking, embracing the crisp air of October before it’s too freezing to dare leave the house, but that’s not a problem; if anything, it adds to the ambiance. Chan’s always liked this time of year. He hates the cold, but it’s the perfect time to be in love, because seasonal dates are inarguably the best kind.

Chan thinks about Felix and smiles. He thinks about how, if he gets the balls to officially ask him out, they could carve pumpkins together and cuddle while watching scary movies. Felix would rest his head against his chest and Chan would hold him tight, keeping him safe in his arms.

Then Chan thinks about the fact he knows what Felix looks like naked and the smile falls from his face upon the mental reminder that he’s a creep.

Chan stops thinking when Changbin pats him harshly on the back, and it startles him so badly he spills a quarter of his coffee onto the leaves below, yelping in shock as it hits his shoes. “Keep going!”

“I’m so awful, Changbin, you have no idea.”

“Is this about the fact you’re gay? Buddy, we all know, nobody cares,” Changbin says, and Chan quirks an eyebrow at him. It wasn’t, but the reassurance that it’s nothing makes him feel a little better. “Well, kinda? Fuck, it’s-you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?”

Changbin nods, and he looks worried. “Of course. Seriously man, what’s up?”

“I have Psych with this guy, okay, and he’s an angel. I could talk about him for hours. He’s so pretty and that would be fine but he’s not just pretty, he’s a ball of sunshine that’s just so wonderful in every way and his freckles are like constellations and when he laughs I-”

“You’re a bad person because you have a crush?” Changbin asks, and Chan groans. “Gross, yeah, but it’s not a bad thing. What’s the problem?”

“He’s a camboy,” Chan blurts out suddenly, and it feels like he’s unravelling, his leg jittering and his hands shaking. Changbin doesn’t respond. 

“He’s a camboy and he doesn’t know that I know he’s a camboy and he doesn’t know that I’ve seen his dick and every time I see his face I think about his dick and every time I see his dick I think about his face and last night he said my name on a stream.”

Chan looks at him pleadingly for a response, a voice that isn’t his own to put him out of his agony, but Changbin doesn’t speak. He’s frozen. His mouth hangs slightly agape, and his stance is that of a man who has something to say, but Changbin is lost.

“He was jacking off, if you-”

“Yeah, I figured,” Changbin says, his voice somewhat dead. Then, he laughs. How twisted a sound. “What the fuck is funny about this?” Chan asks, his face falling in distress, and Changbin laughs again, heartier this time. 

“I still don’t know what the problem is?”

“I’ve seen his dick!” Chan says, and although he doesn’t intend it to, it comes out as a yell. A group of students walking past stop and stare, and Changbin glares at them. They look afraid. “Have some respect,” he tells them, and as they run off Chan groans, hiding his head in his hands.

“Anyway, that’s nothing. I mean, I’ve seen your dick,” he says nonchalantly, and Chan chokes on his own spit. “Since when?”

“Dude, on like the first day we met. You took a shower without closing the door and I saw it. It wasn’t on purpose, though, so I guess it’s not the same. But still. You're fucking hung, by the way. He doesn’t know you’re watching?”

Chan shakes his head, leg still twitching, and Changbin nods. They both choose to ignore the comment prior. “So tell him.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Chan, you big fucking baby, what exactly are you so afraid of? He’s clearly into you. Y’know, considering he says your nake while jacking off. That’s a dead giveaway.”

“I just feel like such a degenerate,” he says quietly, looking down. He takes a sip of his coffee and finally forces his leg to stop moving. “You’re gonna keep feeling like one if you don’t talk to him about it,” Changbin says, looking up at the sky. It’s bright and blue and peaceful, and even though Chan is sniffling beside him, Changbin knows he’ll be alright. He moves his hand down from the bench and pats Chan on the back.

“I know you’re right,” he sighs, and Changbin nods. “Always am.”

Chan chooses to ignore this this as well, and straightens his shoulders, forcing a smile. “I’ll talk to Felix. I’ll do it right now, actually!”

He goes to stand but Changbin pulls him back down, smiling at him. “I don’t think so, buddy. You need sleep first.”

“But-”

“You’ll thank me later,” he says, lifting him up, and as he struggles to stand upright Chan realizes that once again, Changbin is right. He’s really on a roll today.

Changbin walks with him back to their shared dorm and waits until he’s asleep to leave, which only takes about two minutes of his head hitting the pillow, and once Chan is out he sleeps like he’s never known slumber prior. He wakes at seven pm, groggy and confused at how dark it is outside, unsure of his own name until he checks his phone and sees a series of messages from Felix clouding his lockscreen.

Of course they're from Felix.

_Lixie 💕:_

hey

binnie told me u didn't sleep :(

little bitch

u better be resting rn

if not ur DEAD MEAT

wait i shouldnt text u if ur asleep

whoops

ok.

ill stop.

call me when u wake up?

if u want

changbin also said you needed to tell me something so i guess you probably will hehehe

ok.

stopping fr this time.

deadass.

sleep well~

love u

don’t forget to call me!!!!!

if u want.

OK BYE

Chan rubs the sleep out of his eyes and yawns. For a moment, he’s confused, then he remembers his conversation with Changbin and groans. Of course he mentioned Changbin knew who he was talking about, of fucking course he did. Chan feels like an idiot. As he reads Felix’s messages a second time, he can’t help but feel nervous. It’s clear he feels the same. He has to, right? Chan tries to reassure himself, but he can’t shake the fear of rejection, and it’s driving him insane.

He knows Felix doesn’t owe him anything. Maybe he doesn’t like him back, and there would be nothing wrong about that, but the thought hurts Chan too much for him to linger on it without feeling sick. The longer he waits, the worse it feels.

Chan calls Felix and within three seconds of it ringing he answers.

“Hey,” he says, and because those are his first words since waking, his voice sounds a little grainy. Chan sits up and smiles when he hears Felix giggling on the other side of the phone. “Good morning! How’d you sleep?”

Chan shrugs before realizing Felix can’t see him. “Good, good,” he says, pressing the phone against his ear with his shoulder as he struggles to pull on a pair of jeans in the darkness of his room. It’s a mess in here. Him and Changbin are both slobs, and it doesn’t help that Chan’s been mentally elsewhere for the past few weeks. He tries not to think too much about his surroundings as he speaks again. “Hey, when can I see you?”

“I’m free right now, if-”

“Great! I’ll be right there,” he says, and Felix laughs. “I didn’t tell you where I am.”

Chan’s glad Felix can’t see him yet, because his face is now bright red. “That’s true, actually... Where are you?”

“My dorm,” he says, and Chan lets out a sigh of relief. It’s a quick walk from his room to Felix’s, so even if he wants to chicken out, he won’t have time. As terrifying as the thought of confessing actually is, the chance of something coming from it makes the fear feel almost worth it. “Great!” He repeats, voice cracking, pulling on a sock and shifting the phone back into his hand. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Chan?” Felix asks, and Chan hums. “Are you okay?”

No. Not even a little. “Of course I’m okay,” he says softly, slipping on a jacket and advancing towards the door. “I’ll see you soon.” Felix isn’t sure what to say, so he doesn’t say anything at all, and before he gets the chance to deliberate on a response Chan has hung up.

The walk over to Felix’s dorm isn’t a walk perse, it’s more of a sprint that Chan focuses all of his energy into to avoid thinking about the fact he’s about to tell Felix he knows he wants to fuck him, and vice versa. It almost sounds like an intervention. Chan can’t think about the situation long enough to script a good confession, because no matter what he imagines himself saying it comes out wrong.

_We should fuck_ is effective, definitely, but too much. He needs to save that for at least their second date. _I like your dick_ is simply terrifying. But even the non-sexual options, such as, I like you so much, or I respect your profession just sound ridiculous. 

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Chan stands outside Felix’s apartment, stares at the door, and pants. He really shouldn’t have ran the whole way over, but it’s no use dwelling on that now. He waits until he’s caught his breath to knock and within a few moments the door is opening and Felix is standing there in front of him.

He’s so pretty. Chan knows he says it a lot, but that’s only because it’s true: he’s the human embodiment of a small woodland animal, and everything about him feels soft and pure. “You can come inside, by the way,” he says, stepping aside to gesture Chan in, and once again Chan is blushing. He hasn’t felt this nervous in years.

Felix’s dorm isn’t a whole neater than his own, but his bed and the surrounding area are pristine, suspiciously so. Chan hates himself for noticing, and hates himself even more for knowing why. His desire to be struck by lightning is quickly replaced by pure curiosity as he inhales the scent of this room. “It smells nice in here,” he comments and Felix grins, immediately rushing to his microwave.

When he comes back he’s brandishing a plate of cookies and Chan thinks he’s in love.

Of course, Felix made cookies, and of course, they taste delicious, and of course, Chan is still thinking about Felix’s dick. He never really stopped. Even when it’s not at the forefront of his mind, he knows it exists. He forces himself to focus entirely on the taste of these cookies, and Chan can feel Felix’s stare burning into him like a hot iron. It’s cute, how even after receiving constant copious amounts of praise from Chan on his baking, Felix still watches every bite he takes to make sure he’s _actually_ enjoying them.

Chan looks up at him and smiles, his expression fond. “Perfect. _You’re_ perfect,” he says softly, and Felix hides his blushing face in the sleeves of his sweater and tells him to shut up. “Are you high?” he asks with a laugh, and Chan hums a note of confusion. Felix pulls his hands down from his eyes, squishing his cheek against his palm, and looks at him.

“You’re being weird,” he says, lightly pushing him, and Chan forces a laugh. “No I’m not,” he lies, and both of them know exactly how strange he’s acting. “You know you can talk to me about whatever,” Felix mumbles, swinging his feet. He looks… Nervous? No, that can’t be right. Chan is the one who should be nervous, not Felix. Felix hasn’t committed the sin of watching his friend jack off several times per month, Felix hasn’t done anything, so why would he be nervous?

“I need to tell you something,” Chan starts, swallowing hard. “But I don’t know where to start.”

“I have to tell you something, too,” he says, and Chan looks worried. He sounds so afraid, and Chan’s completely clueless as to what could be causing it. He looks down at his fidgeting hands before looking back up at Chan, inhaling sharply, and beginning to speak, conviction in his voice. “I-”

“I’ve seen your dick. No, I haven't just seen it, I’ve watched it. Intently.”

The room falls silent. Chan isn’t even really sure what he said; it’s like some cruel deity possessed him to speak for him and whatever he said has left Felix in such shock that all he can do is stare at it. 

“Not in a weird way,” he finally adds, laughing nervously only to then immediately sigh. “No, I’m sorry, it was in a weird way. Not like… an illegal way, Jesus Christ, nothing like that. I don’t think it’s like that? Please say something.”

Again, silence. Tense, uncuttable silence, and neither can bear looking at each other because Chan knows if he looks at Felix he’ll turn to stone.

“Did you like it?” Felix asks finally, his voice small. Chan takes a second to calibrate this before answering. “Yeah? Yeah! Of course I liked it. You’ve got a really nice dick,” he says, giggling a little, and when he finally looks over at Felix he sees him smiling at the ground, his freckled face red. “Thanks,” he mumbles, too embarrassed to make eye contact and Chan pats his back. Then he remembers how this conversation started and draws back like he’s just touched a hot stove.

“That’s not that weird,” Felix says quietly, swiveling around on his chair to face Chan, and Chan, albeit confused, feels a little relieved. Felix looks at him with such naivety it almost feels intentional. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

“I have so much to say, Lix,” he says, burying his face in his hands for a moment and groaning. “I don’t know how to not be weird about it.”

Felix laughs. Felix laughs and it’s the most beautiful sound Chan’s ever heard and even if he’s laughing at him Chan doesn’t care, his pride could suffer endlessly everyday for the rest of his life and he’d feel fine as long as it meant Felix would laugh. Still, he doesn’t know exactly what he’s laughing at. “We can't talk about my dick and not be weird,” he says, laughing a little. Chan blushes. “Talk to me,” he says, and Chan gazes at him with pleading eyes. He sighs before speaking.

“I like you so much,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, and Felix fails to suppress a grin. Chan’s nervousness doesn’t fade entirely as he sits up and sees Felix beaming at him like a ray of sun at golden hour, but it suddenly feels a lot less crushing. “I should’ve told you when I found out but I-I know you’re a camboy and I’ve watched an embarrassing amounts of your streams and I wanna fuck you so damn bad but more than that I wanna hold your hand. Does that make sense?”

Felix leans into Chan and wraps his arms loosely around his waist. Chan pulls him in closer, smiling as Felix nuzzles his head under his chin. “You really don't mind?”

“What? No, of course I don’t! You can do whatever you want with your body, honey,” he says, his words genuine, and Felix can’t stop smiling. “It doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to anyone else, either,” he adds. Felix pulls away from Chan’s neck to look at him, his eyes wide and hopeful, and Chan smiles. “I thought it’d turn you off.”

“The opposite,” Chan says quietly, and while he’s been mentally aware of how close Felix is to him since they started sitting like this, his dick is only starting to realize now. He attempts to conceal his boner by shifting position but is quickly stopped by Felix mounting his thigh, hands on his chest, their faces so close that Chan can feel his breath on his skin. He looks like an angel. “Can I kiss you?” Felix asks timidly, and Chan feels like he could die.

He’s never been asked that before.

Instead of answering with words Chan simply leans in, snaking his arms further around Felix’s waist, and presses their lips together. He wouldn’t dare let go of him. Not now, not ever. The kiss is messy, uncoordinated, but sweet all at once. Both want this so bad but are still holding back, afraid to do something wrong and ruin the moment. Chan’s stiff in more ways than one.

But after a while, he eases up. Chan moves one hand up from Felix’s waist to the side of his face, and without thinking he tilts his head into his cupped hand, causing Chan to giggle. “You’re so cute,” he mumbles, leaning his forehead against Felix’s and running his thumb along his cheek. “Shut up,” he says, now blushing, and Chan’s point is further proven. “But you are! Like a fairy,” he giggles, pressing a quick kiss to his nose before Felix looks down. 

It’s almost too perfect to be real. Chan can’t fathom that the cute boy he’s in love with just kissed him, and that said cute boy is sitting on his lap, one leg on either side of his thigh, moving aimlessly up his leg until he can’t anymore and his knee is pressing against Chan’s cock. It’s a little uncomfortable how hard his restricted dick is, but Chan chooses to ignore this, instead focusing on how he feels in other body parts, such as his heart.

Horny. His heart is horny.

“Can't believe you took so long to tell me,” Felix mumbles eventually, very gently tugging at the hem of Chan’s shirt. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I just felt like such a pervert.”

“You are.”

Chan swallows hard. “What?”

“You want me to say it again?” Felix asks, a strange tenacity in his voice, and Chan's not sure how to answer. Does he? Maybe he heard wrong, and Felix isn't about to destroy what little self-esteem he has left, but maybe not. His face burns as Felix moves his mouth closer and breathes into his ear. “You're a pervert, Channie. How long have you been watching me?”

“A few weeks,” he admits, trying to look away, but Felix grabs his jaw and forces him to maintain eye contact. His knee is pressing hard against Chan's crotch and as uncomfortable as it feels, Chan can't say he dislikes the feeling. Felix smiles. “A few weeks?” He repeats, shocked, and shamefully Chan nods. “You poor thing,” he coos, tracing his fingertips along Chan’s jawline. “You really wanna fuck me that bad?”

Chan wraps his arms tightly around his waist and pulls him in closer, groaning as he feels Felix’s knee compress his dick even more. “You want me to, don't you?” He asks, attempting to sound confident, but it's obvious he's not. All signs point to the answer being yes, but Chan still wants to make sure. Felix leans in to kiss him. “C’mon,” he whispers, and Chan moves a hand under his ass to hold him up as he moves to stand. “My bed’s a lot more comfy.”

Felix giggles as Chan lifts him from his desk and slams him down onto his bed. Chan's been in this room a few times before, but still, everytime he sees Felix sit on his bed he feels like he's meeting a celebrity. “You're so pretty,” Chan says in between trailing open-mouthed kisses down Felix’s neck. He giggles as Chan’s long fingers slip underneath his hoodie and gently trace circles into his skin. 

“You can take it off me, if you want,” Felix says, and in a moment his hoodie is on the floor and Chan's planting messy kisses along his chest and stomach. “Eager, aren't you?” He asks, running a hand through Chan's hair, and immediately Chan nods. Felix sits up from underneath him to pull off Chan's shirt. It joins his hoodie on the floor, and as soon as it's off Chan is fumbling with his belt.

“I’ll do it,” Felix says. Chan’s hands shake as Felix slips it off with ease. He swallows hard as he unzips his jeans and pulls them down his thighs.

“You're so nervous. Are you sure you wanna do this?” Felix asks, and Chan nods urgently. “So bad,” he says, squeezing his thighs together. “Tell me what you want to do, puppy. Don't be shy.”

Chan hides his now red face in Felix's chest and whines loudly.

Never, not for the briefest moment in his life did Chan ever think he'd feel this submissive, let alone because of Lee Felix. Maybe it's just because he's so used to just fucking straight women who don't see past his monster cock, and maybe it's because he doesn't want to disappoint aforementioned straight women by asking to be the little spoon when they're finished. Maybe Chan feels the same way right now.

Chan mumbles an answer, but it's incoherent, and Felix asks him to go again. “Wanna be inside you,” he says, still quiet, and Felix can't help but smile. “You're so cute. Of course we can do that. Just give me a sec, okay?” He says, and before Chan has time to even try and say anything else Felix is rummaging inside his bedside drawer to retrieve lube and a condom. He lays them down on the bed and quickly moves in to kiss Chan again. 

As they kiss, Felix’s hands tug Chan's boxers down, letting his hard cock spring out and stand against his stomach. 

“My poor boy,” Felix says softly, pressing a quick kiss to Chan's jaw and caressing the side of his dick. “Lix,” Chan whines, bucking his hips forward, and Felix moves his hand away. He shakes his head at Chan. “Be patient, honey,” he says, “I don't want you to finish just yet.”

“You're so mean,” he whines, and Felix laughs. “I know I am. Do you want me to keep my skirt on?”

Chan nods vigorously, suddenly beaming, and he can feel his cock twitching. “Mhm, I thought so. You think I don't see the way you look at me?”

Chan blushes. “I’m that obvious?” he asks quietly, and Felix smiles, stroking his hair. “Such a pervert.”

“‘M sorry,” Chan mumbles, and he hates himself for being so turned on by this. That's another thing Chan didn't think he was into - guilt. Feeling bad, ironically enough, makes him feel good. “It's okay, baby. If you don't want me to call you that I won't-”

“No!” Chan says frantically, a lot louder and more certain than anything else he's said, and as soon as he's spoken he's embarrassed. “I… I like it. Can you call me puppy again?” He asks timidly, and Felix smiles softly at him. “Of course. Be a good puppy and help me prep?”

Chan doesn't need to be asked twice. His hands roam Felix’s thighs aimlessly for a few moments until Felix gently grabs his hands and guides them further up, nodding at him to lift up his skirt. Chan's breath hitches when he sees the outline of Felix's cock in his lingerie.

Yes, Chan knew that Felix likes wearing women’s underwear, but he thought it was just for the camera. “I always wear a cute pair for you,” Felix says with a giggle when he notices Chan drooling over him. “Y’know, just in case.” Chan’s fingers graze over his bulge before slipping underneath the hem and pulling them down. “Has anyone ever told you you're perfect?”

“Yes, several people, every Friday and Wednesday night,” he says, “also you, at least twice today. Simp.”

Chan finds himself unable to respond with words and instead just giggles, blushing as Felix leans in to quickly kiss him before pouring a generous amount of lube into the palm of Chan's hand. “You saw my stream last night, didn't you?” he asks, and Chan nods slowly. Felix smiles. “Good. Sucks you didn't come right over,” he says, and he gasps when Chan pushes two fingers into his hole.

“But you already came,” Chan says, ignoring the fact he'd also finished. At the exact same time. It felt more poetic in the moment. Felix pouts, sighing a little as Chan pulls him onto his lap and slips in another finger. “‘Nd I was nervous. I don't know.”

“How many Chans do you think I know? And why would I be thinking of anyone but you?” He asks, his voice soft as he rubs his thumb along Chan's cheekbone. Chan is miserable. He's so incredibly hard, he feels like he's been sitting here with this condom on for hours, and he's still not even being cockwarmed. It's physically painful.

“Please,” Chan manages, and he can feel his throat straining as he speaks. “Good boy. You've done enough waiting,” Felix says sweetly, and in a moment he's falling back against the bed, spreading his legs, and signaling at Chan to (finally) fuck him. Chan grins.

Chan hooks his arms around Felix's thighs and pulls him in closer, closer until he can't anymore and he's sitting there, balls deep, trying to stay still. He looks down at Felix and smiles fondly at him. He looks so pretty, so sweet, and as soon as they're done banging, Chan decides he'll ask him on a date. “Want me to start?” He asks, and Felix nods.

He tries to be gentle. Really, he does, but, pun intended, it's just too hard. For about fifteen seconds, Chan is slow. His moves are deliberate and deep and even though he's taking his time, Felix still seems to be enjoying himself. “Doing so good,” he says, reaching up to hold Chan's hand, and Chan grunts. It's agonizing, but it's controlled. At least until Felix decides to speak.

“Speed up if you want, baby. I can take it.”

And so, he does. Chan increases his pace as reasonably as he can manage right now, which isn't very reasonable at all. After barely a minute of fucking into him Chan is sweating, yet he shows no desire to slow down. He doesn't think he can. He's been so desperate to fuck something other than his own hand for so long, and now that the opportunity’s finally arisen, Chan can't bare the thought of wasting it.

If Felix didn't seem into this in any way then Chan would stop in an instant, but luckily, he doesn't. Felix is having the time of his life. He's in a tremendous amount of pain, but _fuck_ does it feel good. “Right there,” he cries as Chan pounds into him, moaning that comically high pitched moan Chan’s fantasized about hearing in person for far too long. 

Chan is too busy wrecking his ass to notice, but Felix looks perfect. He uses one of his small hands to stroke his dick, and bites down hard on the other in an attempt to muffle his loud moaning. Felix's legs twitch as Chan grows slower and more aggressive in his movements.

“Don’t stop,” he begs, biting his knuckle. “Fuck, keep going. I’m so close. Just like that, puppy,” he pants, and the sound of Felix’s voice is almost enough to make him cum. “So good for me pup. So fucking good.”

“I'm close,” Chan grunts, trying his hardest not to lose stamina, and just when Felix thinks he can force himself to last longer Chan reaches underneath his skirt to jack him off. It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time for Felix’s skirt and abdomen to be covered in his own cum, all while he shakes and whines loud enough to be heard from the outside.

“Keep going,” Felix says, and Chan does. They're both exhausted, and Felix already knows he’ll be bed bound for the rest of the weekend, but he's willing to let Chan use him for as long as he needs. Chan pushes himself as far into Felix as he can, then stops. 

He bites his lip and groans as he cums. He lasted far longer than he thought he would, and as Chan pulls out and carefully removes his condom, he can honestly say that he's proud of himself for not jizzing first. Chan ties a knot in the latex and tosses it into the bin before falling limp by Felix's side.

“Holy fuck,” Chan sighs, still panting, and Felix rolls over to look at him. “Are you part horse, Chan?” He asks quietly, and Chan laughs, sitting up and blushing. “I'm assuming that's a compliment.”

“It is. You're so good, pup,” he says, running a hand over Chan's abs and leaning in to kiss him. Chan feels he's in heaven. “We really should go out somewhere sometime,” Chan mumbles in between lazy smooches, and Felix giggles. “Like a date?”

“Yeah, a date. Do you wanna go on a date with me?”

“Fuck yeah,” Felix says, and even though Chan was just balls deep in his anus, he still feels surprised (and overjoyed) that he actually wants to go on a _date_ with him. Chan can't stop smiling. He rests a hand on either side of Felix's face and leans forward to press a gentle kiss on his forehead, running his thumb across his cheek.

“Chan?” Felix says after a moment, and his voice sounds unusually small. “What's up?”

“Are you sure you're not just into me because I’m a camboy? Be honest.”

Chan smiles sadly, his expression softening. “Of course I'm sure. I like you because you're you, Lix, nothing changes that,” he says, and Felix knows his words are genuine. “I think you're so wonderful.”

Silence. It's nice, though. Chan strokes Felix’s hair while Felix presses gentle kisses to his neck, and neither of them can recall a time where they've felt more at peace. “We should probably shower,” Chan suggests, and Felix groans. “That involves getting up. My ass is so sore, Chan,” he says, and Chan giggles, rubbing his back. “Can I at least dry you off and get you some clean clothes?”

Felix hums in consideration, then nods. “That works. Don't take too long, okay? I wanna cuddle you.”

Chan smiles, kisses the top of Felix's head, and grabs a wipe from his bedside table. “Sounds good to me."

**Author's Note:**

> if you read the entire fic i want you to know that i love you and i thank you for your time also i'm sorry for using the word jizz. anyway! hope u enjoyed =^__^=


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